In my research about fatherhood I came across this thing called the fatherhood coalition and fell down the rabbit hole in researching as much as I could about what they are and what they actually do. Given that I was raised by a single mother with no shildhood relationship with my father I find it inspiring that so many fathers regardless of their relationship with their child mother are fighting so hard to be involved in their kids lives.
The Fatherhood Coalition, originally call the Coalition for the Preservation of Fatherhood or (CPF), is a nonprofit organization formed in 1993 by a group of fathers who lost their custody rights. Starting in Arlington Massachusetts eventually moving to Boston, MA. Their goal is to “promote shared parenting and to end the discrimination and persecution faced by divorced and unwed fathers, in society at large and specifically in Massachusetts”.
Over the last few years there has been a drop off in participation from its members but in 2023 they are trying to get father engagement back up with having a monthly zoom call which I plan to attend at least one to see more about the group and how people can help.
Some people may feel that the discrimination of fathers is an out dated issue where fathers don’t get the same custody rights or time with their children as mothers, but that’s not the case. According to Custody X Change there are 29 states where the father get 33% or less of custody’s time a per year. Fathers in 10 states get less they 25%.
Custody X Change also has a great amount of resources on how you can plan your time of custody that works for everyone involved.
There have been many fatherhood coalition non-profit organizations groups popping up in areas across the US over the last few years.
Some of the top area specific community organizations similar to fatherhood coalition I have come across are:
Midlands Fatherhood Coalition
The Midlands Fatherhood Coalition is based in South Carolina they offer education and services for fathers tying to rebuild their lives and those of their families. As of August 2023 they are still active on their website and facebook showing they are still doing great things. What I like about them is they have positive messages aimed towards fathers and at time that is what we need as dads. I actually started following them for that reason.
Indiana Fatherhood Coalition
Obviously based in Indiana, the Indiana Fatherhood Coalition has not had much in terms of activity on their site since 2019. However, the site has a great deal of resources both nationally and Indiana based for fathers.
Stark County Fatherhood Coalition
The Stark County Fatherhood Coalition group is active mainly through their Facebook. Even though this is all local to them they do great things there and gives me ideas on how to involve myself with my kids more.
Upstate Fatherhood Coalition
The Upstate Fatherhood Coalition is another South Carolina based group that is also very active on Facebook with lots of great resources on the their website. I love that they are so focused on helping fathers in their words “Be Your Best Dad”, becasue that really is the only thing you can do is try to be the best you as a father.
Why is the Fatherhood Coalition important
A lot of what I have been reading on the fatherhood coalition website is to do with fighting for fathers to have the same custody rights as mothers. While that is important I think it’s also very important to educate fathers on why they need to be apart of their children’s lives. That is exactly what a lot of the other fatherhood coalition websites and facebook groups are doing great.
Fathers being in their child’s lives as much is mothers is detrimental to the healthy upbringing of a child. Children from single-parent families are twice as likely to suffer from mental health & behavioral problems compared to those living with married parents.
When fathers are involved in their child’s life the child is:
2x as likely to go to college
80% less likely to spend time in jail
75% less likely to experience teen pregnancy.
How could the organizations improve
They could unite the organizations under one umbrella similar to how the PTA or VFW is done. Doing so could help legitimize the non-profit organization and help fathers across the US. Each group has it’s benefits and could be run by its locals. Doing this will allow locals to add local community resources that will help fathers have a positive role and build healthy relationships with their children. All the while having a strong overall group that can help nationally and hopefully bring balance and awareness to the issues stemming from fatherless children by all parties involved.
Another thing that I personally feel could be improved is the name. Mainly the word “Coalition“. According to Webbster’s dictionary A Coalition is, A temporary alliance of distinct parties, persons, or states for joint action. Key word in that “temporary”. This shouldn’t be temporary, we as fathers should be trying to keep this thing going even if we personally don‘t need it right now.
A name like “The Fatherhood Association” has a stronger feel to it without feeling like they are trying to take over
I personally know how important having a father in your life can be. I come from a broken family. My mother raised me on her own. My father was not a part of my life until I was an adult. I always played it up like it never bothered me but you have to understand what a child thinks when their father isn’t there. What’s wrong with me? How can my own father not love me? That is what I felt everyday.
The mental health problems I spoke of earlier. Ya, I’ve got that, Severe Clinical Depression is what I was diagnosed with.
Statistically, Father-absent homes account for 63% of youth suicides. I was almost one of those statistics… A few times.
Behavioral issues? I had that too. To the point I broke a kids leg in high school the same day I was suppose to sign up for the military.
Therapy has helped, but all that could have been avoided if I just had a father who was their from the beginning.
So, wither you need this organization right now or not we should all try to be be more involved fathers in the lives of our kids. It’s good for them and it’s also good for us too.
If you are struggling in your relationship with your wife take a look at this article on Why your relationship is falling apart after your second child. It’s more related to having two kids but it could help.
