When you’re a parent and you live in an apartment you likely will have to deal with noise complaints from your neighbors. It’s almost a right of passage into toddlerhood.
I had a very interesting one this morning. 8am and Jasmine, my 2 year old, was having a tantrum about us not letting her wear her Mirabel costume because we wanted her in a Christmas outfit.
Her meltdowns recently involve laying down and kicking the floor. To the dismay of my downstairs neighbor which a sudden pounding on my door informed me of that.
“Hello” I say answering the door to a very unhappy, barefoot, still in his pj’s, man.
“You know it’s 8 in the morning and everyday I hear this pounding” “What is with the pounding!” He said
Not a how do you do, just jumps right in with his issue.
“I’m sorry it’s my 2 year old, my apologies” I said thinking maybe he’d understand.
“Well, can you make it stop?”
At this point I’m annoyed with his attitude. I understand how hard and probably annoying living under this could be. But I also know to expect someone to MAKE a 2 year old stop anything is practically impossible.
One thing to know about me is I’m a smart ass so I reply,
“Ya, let me go talk to her”
“Ok, Thank you.” he responded……
Ya, I don’t think he got it.
“I’ll do it, but dude she’s 2, so it probably wont help.”
That’s when he told me he also has a 2 year old and she doesn’t do that and I can meet her if I don’t believe him.
Congrats bro, your a better father then I. Hopefully your kid and my kid can go to school together and she can teach mine how to behave…..
A few days later Theresa actually ran into the mother in the elevator and their little girl is 1.5 years old. My wife apologized again but she said it’s no big deal he was annoyed as it was his only day off. Plus they are just now starting to deal with the stomping and tantrums.
I say this not as me gloating but as a reminder that you may think your kid is perfect… But give it 5 minutes and they will prove you wrong. No. I say it because he may not see everything that goes around in his home. Not saying he’s a bad father just that the way kids act around their mother is different then their father.
It got me slightly worried and thinking,
- Can get evicted for that type of noise?
- What can I do to stop it?
- Can I install sound dampening materials?
- What would that cost me?
- How to other parents deal with living in an apartment?
- How can I manage my neighbors expectations on what I can actually do?
- How do I get my kids to understand that people live below us and pounding the floor is disrespectful?
- What rights do I have?
Can You Get Evicted For Noisy Kids
Yes and no. From what I’ve read and understand, they can’t evict you (At least in California) for kids being kids. As in laughing, playing, running, jumping, or having kid like temper tantrums to name a few….. Where you can get in trouble, and this is more targeting older kids, is things like listening to loud music, playing instruments you know like a trumpet all at odd hours. Guess they don’t like Morning reveille as much as I do…
What Rights Do You Have
You actually have a lot of rights. Obviously do your own research in regards to laws in your areas but don’t be bullied by your neighbors or landlord. As long as your child is acting like a child of his or her age there is nothing they can really do. Also, if they keep knocking on your door and complaining then I’d let them know that what your child is doing is acceptable but their constant harassment regarding the issue is not acceptable. In matters regarding this, like when a teacher was trash talking my daughter to another teacher, I usually let them know that I wont push the matter but that I know my rights. That usually does the trick.
Managing Your Neighbors Expectations
This will greatly depend on if they are parents, there age, and as bad as this sounds their gender.
For instance a mom that has a kids going through the same struggle as you will be more understanding then a single guy in his mid 20’s who works nights.
For the mother just letting her know you are working with your little one to stop throwing chairs when she is mad. For the guy there may be nothing you can do if he’s giving you a hard time. I’d try to talk it out with them over time and find out what the real pain point is. Is it because at a certain time they are making noise is when they are trying to sleep. Talking will go along way to understanding how you can all live harmoniously together regardless of who it is.
How To Stop It
Trying to keep kids quite all the time is impossible and anyone who says their kids is perfect is a liar. But as a parent what can we do to mitigate the noise? First step is understanding the type of noise that is causing the problem. If like me it is from pounding little feet then you have impact noise. And you’ll be looking into dampening the sound that is usually being transferred through the floors. If it’s the yelling of little children then you have airborne noise and you could be looking at noise going through floors, walls, and ceilings. Some things you can do are:
- You can try to have morning and evenings be quite time. Where you use your best distraction techniques during those times.
- Pad the floors or walls. I think at this point in parenting we all feel like we need to be in a room with padded walls. Lol
- Take them out each day to get their energy out.
- Remind them to walk and use soft feet. I know with my kids my youngest has the heaviest feet. Like a little baby elephant stomping as she walks. That’s only because little ones don’t have the coordination or understanding to walk lightly but with reminding eventually they will get it.
- Make sure the place where they make the most noise is not a love a bedroom.
Install Sound Dampening Materials
Obviously check your lease to know what you can get away with. Some options could be:
Add Rugs
This is the simplest, and least expensive option and you can always take them with you when you leave. You can use area rugs or accent rugs depending on the space your looking to cover. You can find a decent 4’ x 6’ rug on line for under $100
Throw Rug Pads
You can add even more sound dampening to the rug if you add a rug pad under it. They can be costly. They can cost $25 for 3x5ft pads to well over $1000 for overly large area rugs. Obviously it’s all dependent upon size and material.
Foam Interlocking Pads
You’ve probably seen these for workout areas or they have letters cutouts for kids. If you can get your kid to do most of the jumping and noise making in that area it’ll help. Again like rugs you get a good amount for under $100 they are just less attractive but if you put it under a rug it will give you a good deal of sound dampening. I will tell you from experience if you have cats they will jack these up if you don’t cover them. Mine even tried to eat them.
New Carpet Padding
Carpet padding is a thin pad that goes under your carpet. It adds cushion and sound dampening. This might be tough to get your landlord to update it even if you have lived there for many years. However you may be able to spin it as a benefit for them as well. They won’t have to hear the complaints that, in reality, no one can do anything about.
How Other Parents Deal With Apartment Living
It’s all dependent upon there personality. Some parents are a bit snippy back towards there neighbors acting a bit entitled. As though just because they pay rent they don’t have to still consider their neighbors.
Some apologize profusely in hopes to catch more flies with honey. I think it all depends on how the neighbor first complain. However, do remember that you don’t know what they are going though so even though they may be bitchy with you it could be they are just having a bad day.
How To Get Kids To Understand People Live Below You
For kids it’s a weird concept to understand people live under their floors. I’ve tried many ways to get them to understand but the best way is to introduce your kids to the neighbors. Sometimes they meet by chance like on a walk around the complex, sometimes it’s by us knocking on the door after a terrible temper tantrum, Some, like this last time, it’s by the neighbor knocking on my door at 8am.
It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out down the road. I’m sure our daughters will end up in school together and we will all be friends and will look back and laugh about how we hated each other when we first met.
What will be more interesting is how they are going to react that I just got 2 new kittens that run back and forth, usually late at night, as they play for a solid 30 minutes at a time.
How about you, what was your uncomfortable run in with someone complaining about your kids or pets? Let me know in the comments below.
