I read so many stories of how kids need to sleep train. That kids should be going to bed by themselves even when they are still in a crib. However, sometimes they just need to be coddled, held, especially when it’s been a hard night. Since Aaliyah was born I’ve been putting her to bed and will stay by her bed until she falls asleep. Is it fun? No, not always. Some nights I practically beg her to go to sleep faster. When she was a baby I had to stand by the crib and lay my arm inside so she knew I close by. If I moved she’d start crying. 6 years later and I am still by her bed thankfully now I sit on the floor.
Some nights, like tonight for instance, I change it up. You see we flip flop nights on who goes to bed first with our son. Sometimes they might have 2-3 nights in a row going to bed first depending upon if he took his nap, how late it is, or who seems more tired.
Tonight it was super late. It was 9:30pm and we were just getting ready for bed. We let Aaliyah choose a side of a coin and if it landed heads she gets to go to bed last. Well it landed on tails. WELCOME TO THE MELT DOWN!!! If I’m honest with you I had to go into the bedroom for a few because I started laughing. Just the flip of a switch from happy and excited to drama and tears just made me laugh.
Well I carried her to bed still having her meltdown grabbing everything in reach to slow me down. For about 10 minutes it was tears and repeating how it’s not fair she went first last night and she want to play ( even though she took forever to eat her sandwich). What was I doing? AirPod in and singing along to a song on YouTube. Finally I decided enough was enough.
Usually I end up walking out of the room annoyed with the constant crying which ends up making her cry more and longer. I have learned recently though just showing her I understand how she feels and that I’d be upset too if I was her spot but there is a reason behind our decision. I tend to get her to calm down faster then when I’s try and flex the parent muscle.
Tonight though I tried something old. I stood by her bed (Top bunk) and let her hold my hand and told her that I use to do the same thing when she was a baby. I rested my head against the side rail and within minutes she was out.
Now, was it because she was exhausted? Maybe, However I learned that sometimes your child just needs you a little closer.
This was one of those moments I’ll cherish. One of those moments that could be be a fork in the road. I could have walked out of the room and let her have her meltdown. However I know if I walk out, like i have done before, she will loose it even more. Sometimes thought you just can’t be around that.
I believe though by just taking those few extra minutes, even thought I’m tired and I’ve had an absolute shit day at work, that this could be a very important moment in our relationship. This could be a moment in her eyes that I’m either there for her during this emotional time and will listen or that I’m the dad who walks out when she needs me the most.
Having a great relationship with my kids is one of the most important things to me, as I’m sure it is for you as well.
So, maybe it’s tomorrow night, next week, or right now that your little one is having a meltdown at bedtime. Go back in there, pick them up, lay with them, show them that even in the hardest of times you will be there.
You know how hard it was being a kids with the seemingly unfair rules. So tell them you understand, that you’d feel the same way. Hold them, help them fall asleep. Whatever it take, they really are only little once enjoy this opportunity there are only so many you will get.
Good luck and remember, this could be one of those defining moments in your relationship with your child.
