I’m sitting here holding my son, who is snoozing, and realizing that it’s the last day off of paternity leave with my wife, daughter, and newborn son. I’ve always been a workaholic and usually, I would be excited to get back to designing, but not this time.
It’s harder this time then when I had to go back to work after my daughter was born. At that time I was only able to take a week off due to my work calling me back early. This time, I surprisingly got the full 2 weeks off.
I find that there is a double standard when it comes to parental leave. It’s accepted and actually expected that the mother takes the full 12 weeks to bond with the baby. As for men, we too are allowed 12 weeks but it’s not really excepted, it seems to me as though it’s frowned upon. I’m sure a lot of you already know this but the benefits of a father bonding with their child is huge. It can help lessen depression, can help your father instincts kick in faster, help you understand your baby’s cues, and help you fuse the bond and have a better relationship with your child later in life. Kids who are closer with there parents have a better chance of succeeding in life.
I’ve actually heard an employer ask “why does he need any time off? It’s not like he’s having the baby.”
So I lay here with my son on my chest, wishing I could be here every day and not return to work. I wish I could have done more with my time off. I know I did what I needed to and helped my wife as she recovers but I still wish I could have done more.
My daughter and I did have a fun day at Disneyland and the playground. I get the chance to go to my daughter’s Easter egg hunt at her school, something I hardly get to do. I just wish I had more time.
Why can’t men get the 12 weeks without judgment, I hope sometime soon the standards of parenting balance out and people realize that fathers too need to be apart of the bonding process that happens within the first few months. I hope that some of you fellow fathers reading this get that chance and really enjoy the time you get to bond with your sons and daughters. It’s an experience that benefits both your child and yourself. Tell me in the comments below how your time off was, and how you cope with going back to work.
